“I feel like a stranger in a foreign land. I feel as if I just don’t belong; that others don’t understand me and I’m seeking company with those who can and do. It’s like when I was a stay-at-home Mom to my children when they were little. Yes, it is exactly like that! And I was excited when my husband came home and we could have some ‘adult’ conversation and I would get help. Yes. It’s like that!
But what exactly does that mean? It’s not that I didn’t love being with my children. I most
Is that what I need? A break? A break from what? OH MY GODS! It all makes sense!”
When I was a stay-at-home Mom I was constantly giving of myself to my children and I am now still constantly giving of myself but not only to my children but to others as well. I give of myself:
- to my family (cooking, cleaning, running errands, carting children to school activities, and all other responsibilities that being a wife, mother and pet owner entails)
- to my students (whether it is by homeschooling, or through Google Hangouts with my online students)
- to the Coven (planning, organizing and leading rituals and classes)
- to my clients (giving Readings, mentoring, and general advice)
- to others (through videos, blog, status updates, articles and in person conversations)
I do not regret doing any of this. I enjoy sharing the many experiences with those individuals in my life but I realize that in giving of my own energy I have not been doing the best to refill it within myself. This personal neglect has brought me to this desert. I am tired and thirsty. My energy is depleting and I need to find a way to replenish it but I can’t seem to find a water source. The issue for me is that I have been looking for someone to hand me a cup brimming with water instead of finding the oasis myself. It is time that I find that oasis and drink from the Source without the aid of others. I believe that I have been guided to do just that through the practice of Yoga.
I have recently taken two yoga classes and have dedicated myself to taking them on a regular basis (Monday and Wednesday mornings). After each class I feel filled with Source energy. I feel at peace, in harmony and free. This is my answer.