I am not the type of individual who compartmentalizes my life; the boundaries between the different aspects of my experience and the roles I fill are blurred and sometimes are nonexistent. My spiritual life directly affects my career, my family, and my friendships. My friendships affect my family life, my career, and my spirituality. I know individuals who are able to compartmentalize the aspects of their life and seemingly do so with ease, but I have never been one who was able to do so with any success. Probably because it never felt "right" to me. I always felt the need to have each role I filled or each aspect compliment the others and flow one into the other. I used to attribute that desire to the fact that I was a Water Sign; that was before I realized that Aquarius isn’t a Water Sign, but instead is an Air Sign, though I could still say that the element still contributes to the fact that I am unable to compartmentalize, right? Air flows through all things, just like water does.
Regardless of the reason, I have been contemplating loss. I have lost something ... a situation, a relationship. And while I can logically explain that it isn't a loss ... just a transformation, a shifting. It feels like a loss. Who am I kidding? It is a loss. And at first I didn't think it would be affecting me as it has, because I saw this coming. I felt this coming. Damn, I even had an Astrological Reading done and she suggested that it was coming. So I thought I was prepared. But I don't think we are every truly prepared, are we? When something that had been a part of my own vibrational freqnency for as long as this relationship had, how could it not affect me? The energy has been released, with the words, "It's over." Yes, there will be a formal ritual honoring the Parting, but it's over. I can feel the emptiness within my own vibrational frequency. And with this blog post, I am acknowledging it and realizing that this loss is seeping into other relationships, and circumstances within my life experience.
This feeling of loss is not compartmentalized. It is flowing through my energetic vibration and touching other aspects of my life experience. I feel as though the air is blowing through … testing the stability of other circumstances and situations I am engaged in, other relationships that I am involved with … and if those other areas are not firmly grounded and rooted in earth then the air will blow them away.
I will not fight this … I will allow the wind to carry me wherever I am meant to be …