As I traveled through the realms I felt myself energetically release from my physicality and merge with the other planes of existence so that we were one in the same energetic vibration. I shifted frequently from one to the other until I had descended into The Underworld and was aggressively confronted by my darkest fears, those things I had repressed so deeply that I had no conscious knowledge of their existence; I did not recognize that they had been skulking within my psyche. It was enthralling torture and although I am glad the experience is over … I am curious to experience it again with my new sense of self and awareness of what lies beneath.
Prior to this Dark Night of the Soul my previous experiences were visceral, bloody, and raw … violent yet compassionate:
While working on a client during a healing session, I had a vision; I saw myself transform from human to animal. I became a coyote or fox and tore out with my mouth the dis-ease from my client and consumed the cancerous organs, taking the cancer into my own body so that my client could heal. I witnessed the animal me standing over my client with my snout covered with her blood and it dripping to the ground, while her torso slowly closed the wound I had made; the cells of her flesh weaving back together.
While doing a Tarot Reading for a client at the Holistic Psychic Faire I experienced the physical sensation of boney fingers or more accurately talons of a large bird of prey, one as big as a golden eagle, as it perched itself on my shoulders. The black bird spread her wings wide as if preparing to fly away, but instead she leaned over me and cawed loudly at the client sitting across the table. I was momentarily distracted by the sensation and stumbled over my words while doing my best to ignore my heavy companion. I wondered if this client could perceive my aggressive companion.
What does this all mean for me? Where am I headed? What is it I am experiencing? I am lacking the words to label this occurrence, but something is changing … something is shifting and this is not an easy or simple change. This is something major and transformable …
In the darkness I hear a voice whispering to me ... calling my name; using a name that I recognize as mine, but one I have never heard spoken aloud before.
She calls to me.
I know she has been around me for a while maintaining distance, waiting for me to approach her, but until now I have been unwilling. I have been afraid and I wasn’t ready to face what was required of me ... but now ... well, now … I am.