Personal boundaries are vital for the Psychic Empath because as such we are the natural psychic sponge of humanity. Most times we unintentionally absorb the energies that surround us whether it is from; the environment we are physically placed in, the sentient beings (living and dead) that surround us within that place, the events that transpire there, the sounds and
To set a personal boundary the Empath must first identify what they desire to experience in their life and what they will not accept. This is generally not a difficult thing to accomplish, though I would encourage making a list so that the Empath can review it periodically to remind him or herself of what it is they’ve consciously identified as acceptable and unacceptable – this will aid the maintenance of the personal boundary. Many of us, whether we identify as an Empath or not, already know what we like and dislike as we began cultivating these ideals years ago.
Honesty is on my list so I set a boundary to disallow anyone who is dishonest with me. I do this by simply letting others know that I do not allow liars in my life or in my home. I see this as a betrayal of my trust so if I discover that a friend has lied to me then I will stop spending my time and energy on that friendship. If I later have a conversation with that individual and they explain their motives behind the deception I may or may not reestablish our bond, but I will decide a course of action after serious consideration.
As I explained earlier setting personal boundaries may be tough for some of us. Voicing our desires, explaining what our boundaries look like can be uncomfortable for us because we are fearful of causing harm to other people especially if those people are family members or people with whom we have history, but if their behaviors, words, or actions cause us harm then it is not beneficial to our overall well-being to continue to be engaged in an energetic exchange with them. The boundaries we set are not just for other people, but should also be for ourselves. If we do not allow dishonesty from others we should not accept it from ourselves towards ourselves.
I find that with particularly difficult personal boundaries it is easier for me to set them within a Ritual; for me within my spiritual practice this would incorporate casting Circle and the evocation of the Quarters and deity. I would then write in my Book of Shadows the list of behaviors or traits that I mentioned earlier in this post. I would visualize how the situations would present themselves and how the energy would feel to me. I then visualize a boundary surrounding me. This boundary might appear like a shield, fence, wall, bubble … I allow it to appear naturally to me.
My personal visualization is of me standing on the beach: the swish of the ocean waves as they gently hit the shore and retreat is joined by the call of the seagulls as they fly over my head. The smell of the seaweed fills my nostrils. The taste of the salt in the ocean mist tickles my tongue. The feel of the sand between my toes and the texture of the stick I hold in my hand connect me to Gaia. With the long stick I draw a line in the sand; this is my boundary, which incorporates all those things that I wrote on my list and if anyone crosses that line then they have crossed my personal boundary.
Maintaining the boundaries I have set requires me to be aware of my energies and emotions, noting when I am feeling badly and tracing that feeling back to its source. Once I identify the source I can then determine on my course of action. It may just require me to stop visiting a particular place; a store, restaurant, park, etc. Or it may require me to reevaluate a friendship or association. Maybe there is a specific genre of movies or books I am uncomfortable viewing or reading even if it may be popular with others. Each of us is different and unique; not all of us will have the same personal boundaries, but none are “wrong” all are “right” for the person who sets them.
If you have questions please feel free to comment here or contact me.