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Disconnected

1/23/2014

15 Comments

 
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Sometimes I feel very disconnected to those around me. Is it that they cannot understand me or maybe they chose not to? I understand everyone has their own interests or things that they are concerned about, I mean, who doesn't, right? Life can be overwhelming at times and it can be difficult to focus on others when it feels as if our own stuff is in disarray. And to be frank, I don't think or feel that the majority of others would be interested in the thoughts that bounce around in my head during the day. 

"This morning my husband and I were discussing the idea of death and reincarnation as proposed by chaos magician, Peter Carroll. You know,

the idea that you can, with magick, manipulate your  energy to retain a greater part of your personality when you reincarnate again into the physical. I think it’s an interesting topic. Don’t you?"

This isn't the usual conversation that takes place among those who surround me especially when I gather in a large group. Usually there is discussion about jobs, children, family activities or vacations; not the deeper spiritual concepts that I generally contemplate. Would these people even understand what I'm talking about? Or would I instead be met with blank expressions or worse; the mock laughter at ‘how deep’ I am?

I realize that the majority of the people I interact with (offline) don’t have interests that resonate with me. My family and I don’t take many family vacations to other states, I don’t have a job that I dislike, I am in a happy relationship, and my life is stable without any drama. I am content. So it just feels like a waste of my time to continue to insert myself into situations where I feel like I don't belong. And you may interject that it is all in my perception that I only feel like I don’t belong. I would definitely agree with you, it is a feeling, a ‘vibe’ that I get when I am surrounded by others, but I would also point out that this psychic empath understands that a person’s body language speaks louder than what he or she says or doesn’t say.

Visualize this: I am standing by the window a few feet from another woman, the two of us are observing the actions of a small group of about five others from the larger group who have gathered that day. She and I make eye contact and exchange smiles as two others approach us. They are in the middle of a discussion. Though the woman and I are never directly included in the conversation with words, eye contact was made as the discussion unfolded before us. We were both listening attentively to what was being said. One of the two individuals who was engaged in the conversation was called away to attend to a situation in another part of the building, the other individual, the one who was actively speaking most of the time, abruptly turned their back to me and stood parallel to the other woman and continued the conversation with her, standing only an arm's length away from me. I could have literally reached out and touched their shoulder (or smacked the back of their head). 

Tell me, what does that say to you? Am I reading something into it that isn’t there?

This is not the only situation I've encountered but it is the most recent one I've experienced. I feel as if I am a stranger most of the time; that I don't belong with others that surround me. It feels as if I am living somewhere that just doesn't vibrationally align with me any longer and I'm not certain what to do about it. 
15 Comments
Ashley aka Persephone
1/23/2014 07:14:12 am

That's why I love YouTube, I feel most connected. To that. But other days no, sometimes it overwhelms me. Something's don't come from the heart.

Reply
CricketSong
1/23/2014 07:07:06 pm

How do you cope with it, Ashley? How do you live among those that you feel you don't resonate with? Do you just not engage in outside activities?

Reply
Ashley aka Persephone
1/25/2014 05:24:40 am

Thank you. Did you get my video response?

Purple Raven
1/23/2014 07:55:03 am

I want to discuss that topic you and your husband were discussing! That sounds fascinating to me! I know the feeling of disconnectednss though. I have realized that I am me, and mostly just accept that I do not fit with those certain groups or resonate with certain personalities. So I stick around those I do. Perhaps a lesson to be drawn from it? I find I learn that I have to appreciate those that are very different from me, and that always makes me a little more positive!

Reply
CricketSong
1/23/2014 07:09:59 pm

So what if you find that there is no one around you physically that you resonate with? That perhaps where you are living (in the city, town or island) that you are alone except for your husband? It is most certainly not that I don't appreciate these other individuals because I do - and the students I teach both online and offline bring me great joy because I teach them. When it comes to my own learning and spiritual growth I feel stagnant and I don't know how to deal with that.

Reply
Emilie Elijah link
1/23/2014 04:46:19 pm

I deeply understand what you feel. I have met a lot of persons that are engaged in the "holy path", the seeking of the spiritual mysteries. And at some point they live the same feeling that you feel. My own family and relation with my husband is the same that yours, and in my childhood, I really loved speaking reincarnation, native americans spirituality, buddhism etc around the table when we were eating.
It has been a huge shock to me to experience in my teenage period that it was not the concerns of other families and of the majority of the persons I met.
I really understand why people that are deeply engaged in the spiritual process are living in communities. But I also deeply feel that we have to find a balance between these "other" persons and our intimate spiritual life. At one point of their life they do live expériences that are questionning them about their spiritualities and they need us to be there, next to them, to help them to find their answers.
This is what you give with your videos and I really wanted to thank you to stay open to strangers that can judge you or be mean with you because there are outside persons like me that needed your experience and your sharing in order to strenghten their spiritual path.
I love you too. :)

Reply
CricketSong
1/23/2014 07:13:40 pm

My husband and I have discussed the idea of living in a spiritual community and certainly understand why people do it - even though the rest of our society looks at it and think it strange.

I do enjoy sharing with others - giving where I can - teaching, guiding and mentoring. At this point I feel as if I am having difficulty in gaining my own learning ... I am seeking but haven't been able to find that intimate connection with others that will aid in my own expansion and this makes me feel so ... alone.

Reply
Karren
1/29/2014 03:49:33 am

As being one of your students, you have helped me on so many levels and for that I am very grateful. You are helping me find my path not just by telling me what direction you think I should go but by giving me direction for me to figure it out within myself. Without that I would still be lost in my journey. I feel sad that you feel stagnant in your journey, however I do know that you will find what you are looking for because that is just who you are.....awesome

Ashley Persephone
1/24/2014 08:37:24 am

That's a hard one. At times over the past couple years, yes I dont partake in outside actives. Community things I don't like, I grew up with things being very community based, mostly with Church and religious .. The more in deep you get sometimes there's more slime, if that makes sense or just to egotistical. I was in 4-H, which i enjoyed that, and took part in a winter solstice event, that was fun. Even with my past co worker environment, it just seems so fake and ppl are so nosy into my life. It depends what it would be. My husband resonates with me. Maybe I'll do a video on this :)

Reply
CricketSong
1/24/2014 11:56:54 pm

I can understand what you're saying.

Reply
Annika link
1/27/2014 05:33:13 am

I don't tend to chat spirituality with people, I like to particpate in rituals and things, but I don't tend to have conversations about people's beliefs. It can take a tremendous amount of time to understand each other, which can be very tiresome! So I tend to keep it as brief and simplified as possible. Also, I tend to find that I am more of a listener than a speaker, so I can find it hard to get a word in with some people! But you know you don't have to get all deep with people in order to resonate with them on the level of knowing they are good people with kind hearts. You mention feeling stagnant, do you mean because you can't find people to have interesting conversations with? Well that's what I love about youtube and blogging. :D

Reply
CricketSong
1/27/2014 08:47:37 pm

I understand that we don't have to get into deep conversations or any conversations at all to resonate with people or to understand that they are 'good' people and have 'good' hearts. I definitely can connect with people in that way.

The main issue is this: It feels as if I am living somewhere that just doesn't vibrationally align with me any longer and I'm not certain what to do about it.

I suppose the closest comparison would be if right now, at this moment, at my current age and experience,I was thrown back to high school and forced to be a part of that all over again. I don't belong.

Reply
Ashley aka Persephone
1/29/2014 02:04:52 am

Awe I see.

Rhondam
1/30/2014 02:42:43 am

Oh wow...that high school analogy sounds exactly how I feel as well. It almost feels like you're just going through the motions and you're left craving that deep connection in our physical relationships that we have in these online relationships and it just isn't there. It's so hard at this age, I agree. In my world, I've begun seeking out 'church' groups...leaning towards a Spiritualist Church at the moment...but again, it's hard because they only seem to be found in our larger cities so I'll only find that connection when I make the trip to visit my daughter. :-)

Karren
1/29/2014 03:38:23 am

I can relate to this on so many levels. It all sums it up in the last paragraph for me.

Reply



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