Lunar Wisdom
  • Home
  • About CricketSong
  • Intuitive Readings
  • Witchery
  • Becoming Witch
  • Songs of a Cricket - blog
  • Grimoire
  • CricketSong's Facebook
  • Secrets of Syn
  • SBKreitner

Death and Mourning

10/23/2017

2 Comments

 
Picture
​On Friday, October 13th I attended the funeral of my Dad’s uncle (my Grand Uncle?) with my parents and nephew. Uncle Rae, as I knew him, was a surrogate father to my own Dad since his father, my Grandfather, died when my Dad was just a child. While I knew my Uncle Rae and had only pleasant childhood memories of him, I didn’t really know him well. The most recent memory that I could recall of Uncle Rae was when I with the parents, visited the home he shared with a previous wife and step-children in the town of Marion, which had to have been in the late nineteen-seventies. 

​He had five sisters: Helen, Dorothy, Beatrice (Betty), Isabel (Izzy), and Mildred (Millie). I never met Helen or Dorothy; they died either before I was born or when I was just a baby, but I knew his other sisters. Betty lived with Izzy, my Dad’s mother, when I

 was a teenager so I knew her,but I wasn’t close to her. My memory of her was of how she was private and stayed in her bedroom a lot and how we should stay out of her room when she wasn’t home. She was shrouded in mystery for me. My memory of Millie, until the day of the funeral, was of her hosting the family Christmas parties and how she was always funny and outgoing. And Isabel … Izzy … well, my mind is filled with memories of her because she was my Grandmother and was someone I loved and adored.
 
My Grandmother died in February of 2003. She was the first person with whom I was close to who had died and her death profoundly affected me. I have many fond memories of her and of spending time with her. I would spend a week alone with her in her tenement apartment in the city. She would take me shopping, to the movies, and the park. We would spend time playing games and watching our favorite television shows while eating dinner. She would sew clothes for my dolls and create paper dolls out of old JC Penny catalogs. She made me feel valued and when I was with her I felt capable of anything. She listened to me. She loved me.

She was and is still a very important part of my life. She was the first of my Beloved Dead. At the time of her death we were not as close as I would have liked to be, because she had difficulty in accepting that I had children with and at the time of her death, was married to, someone of a difficult culture and heritage. My children’s biological father was born in Puerto Rico and moved to The United States when he was about eighteen years old, and although I know that my Grandmother loved my children, she had difficulty with my choice, which created a distance between us, leaving me with  a deep sorrow. 
At the funeral when I saw the last living sibling, Aunt Millie, the physical similarities between my Grandmother and she were clear to me; they had the same eyes, nose, and mouth … they had a similar voice, humor, and personality. It was clear they were siblings and I couldn’t stop seeing my Grandmother’s shadow lingering around her.
 
I cried at Uncle Rae’s funeral, but it wasn’t for the same reason that my Dad cried or for the reason that Aunt Millie cried …
 
I was unprepared for the affect the funeral would have on me. I was unprepared for the emotional upheaval I felt being surrounded by these people that I hadn’t seen for years, these members of my family bloodline. I naively believed that I was just going to support my Dad, as he was grieving the loss of his surrogate father, unawares that this occasion would uncover the grief I still held over my Grandmother’s death. I found it strange and unsettling that I had deceived myself in this way, that I was convinced I no longer mourned her passing. Perhaps it is this time of year that sparks the sorrow within or perhaps I just haven’t finished grieving. Could it really take that many years to process a single person's death?

No matter, the tears still flow attempting to release the sadness. 

And the tears flow even as I sit here in the college library, composing this blog post occasionally glancing out the windows to watch the yellow-orange leaves fall from the maple tree and slowly, gracefully land on the green grass below. 

2 Comments
Renee Y.
10/23/2017 08:47:42 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love your way for the losses you mourn and have mourned.

Reply
CricketSong
10/24/2017 05:43:14 am

Thank you, Renee. I am blessed to have you in my life.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Available through AMAZON
    Picture
    Available through AMAZON
    Picture
    Available through AMAZON
    Picture
    Available through AMAZON
    Picture
    Available only AMAZON Kindle
    Picture
    Available through AMAZON
    Picture
    For FREE copy click image

    Categories

    All
    Abrahamic God
    Absolutes
    A Course In Miracles
    Addiction
    Alien
    Alignment
    Amaterasu
    Anam Cara
    Angel
    Animal Ally
    Anxiety
    Aphrodite
    Apologize
    Artemis
    As Above So Below
    Ascended Masters
    Astral Projection
    Astrocartography
    Astrology
    Athame
    Athena
    Atlantis
    Avalon
    Bad
    Banishing
    Baphomet
    Becoming Witch
    Beliefs
    Beltane
    Binding
    Black And White Magick
    Black Lives Matter
    BLM
    Brigid
    Buddhism
    Cailleach
    Chakra
    Channeling
    Children
    Christ Consciousness
    Christianity
    Christmas
    Circle
    Clairsentient
    Co-creator
    Color
    Commitment
    Correspondences
    Coven
    Crossroads
    Crystal
    Curse
    Danu
    Dark Half Of The Year
    Death
    Deity
    Demeter
    Dexter
    Disconnect
    Dis-ease
    Divination
    Doreen Virtue
    Dream
    Dream Catchers
    Dump
    Earth Angels
    Earthbound Spirits
    EFT
    Elemental Spirits
    Elf On The Shelf
    Empowerment
    Enabling
    Energy
    Enlightenment
    Enrique
    Erin
    Ethics
    Evil
    Expectation
    Fairies
    Familiar
    Fasting
    FayeMaiden
    Fear
    Feng Shui
    Fisher's Island
    Flight
    Flower Of Life
    Forgiveness
    Gaia
    Gender
    Ghost
    Give-away
    Gizelle
    Gnosis
    God
    Goddess
    Goddess Path
    God Herself
    Gods
    Good
    Grafton
    Grandmother
    Grief
    Guilt
    Hansen House
    Harm None
    Harry Potter
    Harvest
    Hathor
    Hatred
    Healing
    Health
    Hell
    Hera
    Hex
    High Priestess
    Horoschope
    Hospital
    Hypnosis
    Inanna
    Intention
    Isis
    Journeying
    Kali
    Karma
    Kindness Elves
    Kuan Yin
    Labels
    Law Of Attraction
    Law Of Return
    Lemuria
    Light Beings
    Lightworker
    Lisa Guyer
    LoA
    Loss
    Love
    Lucifer
    Magick
    Magickal Animals
    Man
    Mandalas
    Manifestation
    Meditation
    Medium
    Mediumship
    Mental Illness
    Metatron's Cube
    Mimra
    Mindfulness
    Moon
    Morrigan
    Mourning
    Muggles
    Mundane
    Music
    Mystic
    Mysticism
    Nature Of Deity
    Needs
    NH
    Numerology
    Oak
    OBE
    Omen
    Oneness
    One Of Us
    Oracle Cards
    Oshun
    Ouija
    Out Of Body
    Paganism
    Paivatar
    Pantheism
    Paranormal
    Past Life Memories
    Past Life Regression
    Peace Sign
    Pendulums
    Perception
    Perfect
    Persephone
    Personality
    Personal Power
    Personal Responsibility
    Poem
    Point Of Focus
    Polytheism
    Pomona
    Power Animal
    Prayer
    Prosperity Gospel
    Psychic
    Psychic Abilities
    Psychic Empath
    Psychic Reading
    Purpose
    Quarters
    Reading
    Reiki
    Relationship
    Religion
    Religious
    Respect
    Rest
    Rings
    Ritual
    Roman Catholic
    Romance
    Ryan
    Sabbat
    Sacred Geimetry
    Sage
    SaiRa
    Santa
    Satan
    Saule
    Saules Meita
    Scythe
    Seasonal Tides
    Selfishness
    Self Love
    Severing Ties
    Sex
    Sexual Identity
    Shadow Work
    Shamanism
    Shawn Poirier
    Shifting Energy
    Shit
    Silence
    Sin
    Sister
    Soffie
    Solitary
    Solitary Practice
    Sophia
    Sorcery
    Spell Casting
    Spirit
    Spirit Boards
    Spirit Guide
    Spiritual Bypassing
    Spirituality
    Star
    Suicide
    Sully Erna
    Sun
    Support
    Suzanne
    Sweat Lodge
    Swords
    Symbols
    Tapping
    Tarot
    Telepathy
    Tenets
    The Cailleach
    The Charge Of The Goddess
    The Departed
    The Descent Of The Goddess
    The Devil
    The Eight Wiccan Virtues
    The Eye
    The Law Of Attraction
    The Law Of Contagion
    The Law Of Correspondences
    The Law Of Return
    The Maenads
    The Muses
    The Ten Commandments
    The Threefold Law
    The Three Realms
    The Wiccan Creed
    The Wiccan Rede
    The Witch's Pyramid
    Throwing Stones
    Tialay
    Totem Animal
    Tradition
    Trance
    Transformation
    Tribe
    Trust
    Underworld
    Unicorn
    Universalism
    Universe
    Unverifiable Personal Gnosis
    Unworthiness
    Update
    UPG
    Vacation
    Vibration
    Victim
    Victim Blaming
    Vision
    Vision Board
    Voodoo
    Wands
    Wants
    Waves
    White Fragility
    Wicca
    Will
    Witch
    Witchcraft
    Witches' Runes
    Witchy Aesthetics
    Woman
    Words
    Xeni Nephidei
    Yoga
    Yoni
    Young Boy
    YouTube Pagan Challenge
    Yule
    Zen
    Zodiac

 © 2020  Lunar Wisdom                                                                                                                                                                                     cricketsong@lunarwisdom.net