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Shadow Working: Befriending The Potential

12/5/2016

8 Comments

 
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​I have come to realize that I attract people into my life that resonate with my own vibrational frequency of growth and expansion and even though I have a strong energy of a mentor / teacher and hold the energy of a nurturing mother, I also am a student or Seeker, which is why I attract these types of individuals. I want to learn. I thirst for knowledge and understanding, not only of the Universe and the Nature of God Herself, but of many different things: concepts, ideas, cultures, philosophies, and anything that is different from my own life experience. My quest is knowledge and I enjoy learning about the things that captivate me especially when they are focused on humanity. This is why I attract other students or Seekers and this makes perfect sense to me. I seek the company of those who are also seeking 

because we can journey together and share opinions, insights, and our personal gnosis on the topic and through this exchange even learn more about what we are seeking. While this is something I desire, it isn’t something that always manifests in a beneficial way for me. 

​Many times it seems that even though I seek the company of students I also hold an expectation that these Seekers have the same thirst for knowledge because they will apply what they are learning to their life and experience growth and expansion. They will gain personal gnosis about the topics they learn about and use it to make changes to their life and / or within themselves causing their own expansion and growth as a spiritual being. I become friends with the person that they might be, or the person that they could potentially be, not necessarily the person they are at the time we encounter each other. It isn’t that I do not “see” who they are in that moment of our first meeting; it is that I “see” them in that moment, as well as, who they could be in the future, the “better” version of themselves. Oh, I acknowledge and understand that their growth could take anywhere from mere moments to several years, but I am always willing to invest my time, emotions, and energy in them because I know that as we are in each other’s company we will be growing together through our shared experiences, individual experiences that we reveal to each other, the personal gnosis that we discuss and the exchange of opinions and perspectives. I enjoy the journeys I have with my “friends”.
 
Unfortunately this personal tendency of befriending an individual based on their potential “better” self has led to many great disappointments for me lately. I have come to realize that not everyone desires to grow spiritually, emotionally, or mentally and are content in staying the same person as they were the moment we met and I just don’t understand it. Sometimes the person will talk as if they are interested in personal or spiritual growth, but when I examine their thoughts, their words, and their actions; there is a great contradiction between what they say they desire and what they live. These individuals will consume the knowledge with great hunger, but will not apply what they have learned. Sometimes it seems as if they are not conscious of the great gap or are unaware of the contradiction, so I will bring it up in conversation, but on some level of their being there is a resistance to making a change. There is a fear too great for them to face and so they remain stagnated, while I continue to work with my own improvement, putting in the time and energy so that I might continue my personal evolution. When this occurs a fissure is created between us and it seems that I am the only one who sees it because I am the only one who works at trying to bridge it. It exhausts me. It exhausts me so much that at some point, that point being undefinable because it depends on the relationship and situation, I stop working on bridging it and recognize that I do not want to be the only one responsible for making the relationship work. For me relationships are partnerships where each individual engaged in it contributes to its success or failure and when that exchange is compromised or absent then the relationship is no longer a partnership, if it ever was, and becomes something I do not want to be a part of.
 
I realize that my initial approach to relationships needs to be reevaluated. While it is a benefit to “see” an individual’s potential, or the person that they might be some point in the future, it would benefit me to focus on the person that they are at the moment we encounter each other. Perhaps by doing this I might be able to dodge such heavy and heart wrenching disappoints. 
8 Comments
Aaron Lozano link
12/5/2016 10:09:26 am

So very true. I also deal with this at times. Sometimes I have to invest more time and energy into the relationship when spiritual growth is involved with friends. Sometimes I feel that I am the only one growing in the relationship. Then I realize that no matter what, whether they choose to grow with me, or stay in one spot, I am the constant. Sometimes that is what people are looking for. They can absorb as much information that they want in order to grow but the real question they should be asking their self is "Do I understand what this means and am I ready to live it?"
Keep on moving and the person will either choose to move forward with you or stay behind. Either way you are evolving and when you vibrate at a certain level the rest of your environment has to follow suit. Great thoughts that you have shared with us today. Blessed Be.

Reply
CricketSong
12/5/2016 12:31:07 pm

Thanks, Aaron. I find that if those "friends" do not grow with me and I do not sever ties I can become drained. Though it is sad to let friendships go sometimes for me, it's the only way I can continue to move forward.

Reply
Bonnie Adam link
12/5/2016 12:35:43 pm

OH boy! Been there. Done that!

Reply
CricketSong
12/5/2016 07:08:53 pm

Do you find it as exhausting as I do, Bonnie? And if so, how do you handle it?

Reply
Martha Dunlop link
12/5/2016 12:46:57 pm

I also fall prey to this but I do think there's a lesson in there, in learning to value and nurture ourselves rather than draining ourselves through relationships that aren't positive. I wouldn't say I've cracked it, but I do better than I used to!

Reply
CricketSong
12/5/2016 07:09:55 pm

I hear you. I definitely feel there is a lesson to learn and an experience for me to have with this even if it is to know what I no longer want.

Reply
Tara Jean Cochran link
12/5/2016 05:37:21 pm

I am one of those that find being hesitant at the potential of things. I meet people for example, and immediately have a conenction with some but then down the road find they aren't who I thought they were. I let the potential run away with it and I ended up getting screwed by it. I find it difficult to see potential and accept it for what it is.

Reply
CricketSong
12/5/2016 07:10:56 pm

I think we are similar in this, Tara.

Reply



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