Yesterday morning, Erin was with me. She appeared so vibrant and beautiful; not only in her physical manifestation but also energetically. Her auburn hair was long and brilliant - the way I remember it when we were younger (just out of college). Her skin was fair with the recognizable sprinkle of freckles, a clear indication of her Irish heritage. She was wearing the cream colored suit that she wore to my wedding (I'm on my third marriage) to Darryl. As close of friends that we were, you might think it strange that she hadn't been one of my Brides' Maids but it seemed natural to have her instead as my 'Wedding Coordinator'; the person who I trusted completely who's sole responsibility was to ensure that my day was perfect and nothing was forgotten. She fulfilled her duties amazingly and seemingly effortlessly.
So, what the HELL were Andy and his parents doing there with us in that Church?!
Andy was sobbing and wailing, grasping desperately onto his parents very distraught. What is that all about?! Seriously, come on now. Is that display truly necessary? What was Andy's motivation for that?? That circus show was on the left side of the Church while Erin's sons were sitting in the front pew on the right side. Thomas, sweet Thomas, was right there with them. He was silently watching and listening to the priest, occasionally glancing at me. It was as if he knew something was happening or about to occur.
Once the blessing was done, the priest walked over to the altar as I placed my athame in its sheath that hung on my cord around my waist. I walked over to the bench that was positioned within the sanctuary on the left and sat. The bench was soft and comfortable; it reminded me of a living room sofa. I turned to speak to Erin, who was sitting right next to me, our thighs touched and we were holding each others hands. She was smiling, looking at Thomas and her sons, as she whispered to me. I was quietly chuckling and agreeing with her comments especially what she was saying about the spectacle of Andy for they were clever but frank - nothing malicious or cruel but honest and thoughtful.
"Look at him," I said, referring to Thomas, "His looking at me because he knows I'm speaking with you. He knows you are sitting here next to me even though he cannot see you."
I wish the experience would have continued but I was gently woken up by the morning sun. I wish I could remember what she said about her boys and Thomas because I would share with them what she said, but I cannot remember. I just know how the exchange felt; it was warm, loving, honest. There was no sadness, no sorrow, just contentment. Bliss. Love.
While I was preparing my husband's salad that morning I began considering why Erin came to me wearing that beautiful suit. Why did she decide to appear to me looking as she did? I looked at the calender hanging on the kitchen bulletin board. HA! Of course, she was validating the experience for me, letting me know that it was she and this was something I should remember. The next day, today, is April 25th; it is the anniversary of my marriage to Darryl.